Sentences you can actually say
Step 1: general questions
What did you get up to today?
Did you watch the next episode of… yet?
What kind of thing do you feel like doing (this weekend/over the school holiday)?
What was the best bit of your day?
What was the worst bit of your day?
Step 2: check in
- I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed a bit … lately. Is everything okay?
- I’ve been wondering if something’s getting you down?
- How are you feeling about …?
- It’s been a while since we talked about… how’s that going at the moment?
- How’s (a subject they’re struggling with) going?
Step 3: encourage to say more
Side note: Leaving silence sometimes is good
- So she/he said … and then what?
- So what happened is …. Have I got it right?
- It sounds as if you’re feeling … Have I got that right?
- Can you help me understand more about …?
- What’s that like for you?
- What do you think about that?
- Can you tell me a bit more about …?
- Is it like …?
Step 4: responding to what they tell you
- I’m not surprised you are feeling…
- No wonder you’re feeling so…
- It’s totally understandable to feel…
- How unfair/confusing/hurtful
- I’m sorry it’s been like that for you
- I’m so glad you’ve told me
Step 5: Exploring the problem
- What part feels the hardest right now?
- What would you like to be different?
- What do you wish you could change?
- Can I help you find a first step towards change? (Let them choose a solution, don’t do it for them)
- Do you have any ideas of what you’d like to do?
- How can I help?
Step 6: Providing hope and reassurance
- We might not have all the answers right now, but there’s always a way through
- We can take steps towards changing this together. I’m here for whatever you need
- I understand it feels really bad right now. It will get better
- You’re not alone
- I love you and I’m here whenever you need to talk
