In 2020, I lost my parents.
First my father passed away, and one day later my mother.
They were both 78 years old.
My mother was ill. She had leukemia, and according to the doctors she was in the final stage.
I took care of my parents a lot, as best as I could. That was sometimes difficult, because I also had my own business.
My father passed away very suddenly.
He also took care of my mother, but he could not live without her.
They were very strongly connected to each other.
After their passing, many different feelings came up.
Of course, I was very sad.
But I also felt relief. I found that difficult and even a little strange.
I thought: how can I feel relieved when my parents have passed away?
Later, I understood it better.
My mother always took care of my father. They did everything together.
Now they were freed from pain, illness, and the constant caring.
I also noticed that I missed the caring.
I no longer had to worry, but that felt empty.
My mother always called on Wednesday evenings.
When the phone rang, I sometimes still thought: oh, that’s mom…
And then I realized again that this was no longer possible.
The loss of my parents, the phone calls, the care, and everything that came with it, was very heavy.
Grieving is normal.