Self-harm
If you are badly hurt or in danger, call an ambulance (912) now or go to the emergency room!
You are not alone! You are not weird or “just looking for attention”.
Try now
- Pause & breath: tell yourself: “this feeling will pass.” Try breathing 4s in, hold for 4s sec and breathe out for 8s. Repeat 10X.
- Ground yourself 5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you see, 4 you touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. Say it out loud.
- Cold reset: old an ice cube or splash cool water on your face. Take a few slow breaths and give yourself a moment before doing anything.
More info
People self-harm for many reasons, for example to:
- Release pain, anger or stress
- Feel something when you feel numb
- Punish yourself for guilt or shame
- Show you’re hurting inside when words don’t come
- Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make you “bad”. It means you’re hurting.
Remember
- You’re not broken. Self-harm is a sign of pain, not who you are
- You deserve kindness and support, especially from yourself
- Healing is possible. With new skills and help, urges get weaker and life gets lighter.
When to go to the doctor
If you are badly hurt or in danger, call an ambulance (912) now or go to the emergency room!
If any of these have been going on for about two weeks, go to the doctor:
- You often feel the urge to self-harm
- It’s happening more often and feels harder to stop
- You are using alcohol or drugs to numb the urge
- Your mood is low most days and school, work, friends etc. suffer
- You hide injuries and avoiding people
- You feel stuck in your triggers
Where can I find help?
Call 912 now
if you’re in immediate danger or badly hurt
Call or chat with 918!
You can also call or chat 918 (Mon-Fri 10:00-18:00, Sat 12:00-18:00) anonymously and for free for children, teens and young adults up to 25.
Chat 24/7 with 113
You don’t mind speaking English or Dutch? You can also chat 24/7 with 113.nl for suicide prevention.
Tips
In the moment
- Pause & breath: tell yourself: “this feeling will pass.” Try breathing 4s in, hold for 4s sec and breathe out for 8s. Repeat 10X.
- Change your surroundings: move somewhere safer or be around other people
- Distract yourself: watch something, play a game, listen to music, draw, or do another activity.
- Talk to someone: message or call someone you trust.
- Put distance between you and anything you could use to hurt yourself.
- Delay: tell yourself you will wait 10 minutes. Urges peak and then fade.
- Music & move: put on calming music, stretch, walk, shake your body. Movement helps release tension.
Long-term
- Talk to someone: a friend, teacher, school counsellor, parent or helpline
- Notice your triggers: notice when/where the urge hits (time, place, feeling)? What feelings come first?
- Find healthy outlets: write, draw, sing, exercise, breathe, meditate. Keep what works
- Build your support network: Think about people you can turn to when things get difficult.
- Get professional help: make steps to get into therapy or youth support
Exercises
Ground yourself 5-4-3-2-1
Name:
- 5 things you see
- 4 you touch
- 3 you hear
- 2 you smell
- 1 you taste
Say it out loud if you can.
Slow breathing
- Breath in for 4 seconds
- Breath out for 6 to 8 seconds
- Do it at least 5 times
My coping plan
Write down:
- When I feel like hurting myself, I can first: ….
- Something that helps distract me: ….
- Someone I can contact: ….
- A safe place I can go: ….
- One reason to get through this moment: ….
- You can make this plan with someone you trust.
Cold reset
Splash cool water on your face or hold something cold in your hands. Take a few slow breaths and notice how the cold feels. Give yourself a moment before deciding what to do next.
Ride the urge
Sometimes the urge to hurt yourself can feel really strong. But you don’t have to act on it straight away. Try giving yourself 10 minutes to “ride the urge”.
- Set a timer for 10 minutes and tell yourself: “I can wait 10 minutes before I do anything.”
- Notice the urge without acting on it. Let the feeling be there without fighting it.
- Do something that helps you get through the moment: listen to music, play a game, take a shower, go outside, draw, or talk to someone
- When the timer ends, check in with yourself: “Is the urge still as strong as it was?
- If it is, you can give yourself another 10 minutes.
- The goal of this exercise isn’t to make the urge disappear. It’s to give yourself some space between the feeling and what you do next.
